[02 Jan 2005|10:41pm] Join ____slut_faces 4 left some | leave one here

[15 Sep 2004|03:13pm] new lj, eyes__wide_shut. add me please. leave one here

[15 Sep 2004|03:13pm] new lj, eyes__wide_shut. add me please. leave one here

all alone i fall to pieces.... [14 Sep 2004|09:36pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | velvet revolver-falling to pieces ] Everyone would think i would want something more, but all I want is for someone to say I know what you are going through and Im here for you, but do it without trying to change me or just saying it so they seem like a nice person. Everyone just seems so insincere. 5 left some | leave one here

[13 Sep 2004|06:47am] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Story Of The Year-Razorblades ] i want to beleive that last night was a dream, but sadly i dont think it was. Everything is now going to change, and i know what i have to start with to make that change. 1 left some | leave one here

why cant she see that she is slowly killing me? [08 Sep 2004|09:11pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | Sugarcult-pretty girl ] Today i have cried so much that i just went and threw up and i have a migrain. All through school i was ready to cry just cuz i am already so overwhelmed with everything. Then when my mom came home she started yelling at me because i havent been in a good mood since school started and i have bad study habits because i listen to music to help me concentrate, but to her no one listens to music to help them concentrate and i am a liar. At basketball i have to sit out 3 games which sucks enough, but to make it worse, we could have won the game last night if i was able to play and everyone had to point that out to me. The today at practice i thought i was doing good, but then i went down court for a lay up and i got hit, stumbled and twisted my knee so i sat out and iced it. I came home and iced it even more, but when she found out about it i got yelled at because she blew however much money for me to play and now i cant, BUT I CAN AND SHE DOESNT GET IT!!! Then all this random bull shit that she starts to scream at me about only cuz im there. oh yeah then my dad comes home sees me crying to the point where i cant breathe and leaves again because it is to hard on him to be there. I have cried myself to sleep every night this week, i dont know how much longer i can keep it together before i snap. 6 left some | leave one here

i paid the price [06 Sep 2004|10:24pm] [ mood | discontent ] [ music | soco-Konstantine ] the worst pain is smiling and knowing that it is the fakest thing in the world, but also knowing that it is the closest thing there is to be happy. happiness comes with a price...but when you pay that price and you still arent happy you know that you have hit rock bottom. leave one here

[05 Sep 2004|03:49am] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | blue crush in the backround ] the present is just a pleasent interruption to the past.... The past is meant to be remembered so we dont repeat it, not to be forgotten forever leave one here

I wish someone could save me from drowning.... [02 Sep 2004|11:40pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | none ] You are an angel in my nightmares, but a devil in my dreams. If only you could see the pain or hear my screams leave one here

[31 Aug 2004|03:43pm] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | Sugarcult-i changed my name ] I thought it was over... but the pain is still there. leave one here

[30 Aug 2004|09:55pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | Blink 182- I miss you ] now its just one disaster after another.... wow things are really looking up. leave one here

this is going to be quick [29 Aug 2004|08:13pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | AFI-death of seasons ] well i got my hair done, black low lights and blonde highlights. I have been doing a shit load of basketball. The one thing i am looking forward to is school. This summer has sucked!!! There were some good points but it mostly sucked with my uncle dying, losing one of my oldest and best friends, almost losing my other best friend,losing friends who i have known for almost 5 years, having whip lash, basketball drama with me, my brother leaving me, and my family. I cant wait to go back to school and having things go back to being balanced in my life again. 2 left some | leave one here

OMG!!!!!!! we lost andrea [26 Aug 2004|12:08am] [ mood | flirty ] [ music | none ] tonight was so funny!!! I went to the harper cruise with shannon, ship, kels, steph, mj, cait, sarah, pup and jill and that was funny. Then we split up at like 7 and i went kels, steph, jill and mj, but shannon was my ride, so everything is cool, but at like 10 or something ship calls steph's phone and is freaking out because they didnt know where i was like 3 hrs later.lol.they thought they lost me. Then we stayed at cold cow for a while and we walked through the drive through. Then we went to little ceasers and saw pat, but oh well I dont think he likes me anymore. Then we went back to stephs and ate the pizza and got that phone call and we played mario car. I have realized that i really suck ass at that game. I got like 2 wins cuz jill played for me.lol. Then ship drove me home and we were freaking out by the lightening. Oh yeah and there was random acts by kels, ewhich was funny!! But to some it up this was the funnest nights i have had in a couple weeks. oh yeah im also getting my hair dyed on friday and it is going to look so kick ass!!! leave one here

[24 Aug 2004|04:42pm] im sick leave one here

maybe im to fucked up to deserve happiness.... [24 Aug 2004|01:37am] [ mood | hopeless ] [ music | none ] come play with us. come to the land of eternal happiness with us where nothing is ever wrong. come with us, you wont regret it. i cause you hell, I cause myself hell. you have to worry about me to much and it isnt right, i have lost your trust to the point where even if i swear on everything in my life you still dont believe me. When i try to shut up it makes everything worse and when i tell you everything gets even worse then if i dont talk. I am at a complete lost of what to do. the only thing that seems right anymore caused me even more hell now and screwed me up for life, but it made me so happy at the time, even if deep down i was truly miserable. leave one here

high school guys are so over rated... [23 Aug 2004|10:54pm] [ mood | depressed about parental event ] [ music | tbs-the union ] so I got back today and now i have no more brother. Erica and Kristin, no more american idol!!! Now i have his room to do whatever i want to do to it, but i dont know yet. Well the weekend sucked ass hole with my parents, i hate them more than anything in the world.im done. But i didnt get my schedule so i have to go the first day of school early, which sucks!! well i dont really have any thing else to say except there are so many hot guys up at my bros college and it made me realize high school guys suck and i need to go for college guys. leave one here

[20 Aug 2004|12:03am] [ mood | curious ] "pretty girl is suffering" something happend and this time im not ok and i dont know why, but things did just get worse and i only know one way to handle it im sorry, but dont worry every thing will workout in the end. and your right i am leave one here

things are going back to how they were before.... [19 Aug 2004|02:49pm] [ music | Sugarcult-i changed my name ] i couldn't sleep last night my ears were ringing in my head best friends with the boogie man i may be better off here dead running on empty once again too tired for tears i dread sink deep into those magic dreams while i blast off in my bed and you know i played it all in here where everyone hides their darkest shades of fears and i threw my whole night down the drain you know cause everyone says that i'm not the same since i changed my name three hours later and i'm staring at the ceiling still xanax does nothing more but calm the sleeping thrill turning the pillows round and round to find the cold spot for my head ah, bless my only friend and you know i played it all in here where everyone hides their darkest shades of fears and i threw my whole night down the drain you know cause everyone says that i'm not the same and everyone turns tricks for fickle fame i feel my body's lost control my knees get weak as i drift away and it gets darker, darker dreaming's where i am and you know i played it all in here where everyone hides their darkest shades of fears and i threw my whole night down the drain and you know i played it all in here where everyone hides their darkest shades of fears and i threw my whole night down the drain you know cause everyone says that i'm not the same since i changed my name 6 left some | leave one here

FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [18 Aug 2004|02:25pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | Sugarcult-pretty girl ] someone please kill me before my life gets even worse leave one here

[17 Aug 2004|03:14pm] [ mood | exanimate ] [ music | soco-Konstantine ] I can't imagine all the people that you know And the places that you go When the lights are turned down low And I don't understand All the things you've seen But I'm slipping in between You and your big... dreams it's always you and my big dreams And you tell me That it's over But i can't stand here in a patch of four leaf clover And your restless And I'm naked You've got to get out You can't stand to see me shaking no, áould you let me go and you don't want to be here in the future So you say the present's just a pleasant Interruption to the past And you don't want to look much closer 'Cause you're afraid to find out all the hope That you had sent into the sky by now had... crashed and it did because of me And then you bring me home Afraid to find out that you're alone, no And I'm sleeping in your living room But we don't have much room To live And I had dreams that i would learn to play guitar Maybe cross the country Become a rockstar And there was hope in me That I could take you there But dammit you're so young But I don't think I care and if I hurt you then i'm sorry It's just this guilt has got the best of me And then you bring me home 'Cause we both know what its like to be alone, no And I'm dreaming in your living room But we don't have much room To live Konstantine came walking down the stairs Doesn't she look good Standing in her underwear? And i've been thinking, and i've thinking, no But she's been drinking And it doesn't get me anywhere My Konstantine came walking down the stairs And all that I could do Was touch her long blond hair And i was thinking, what i was thining ya know we've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere This is because I can spell konfusion with a K It's hard to like it It's to dying in anothers arms and why i had to try it It's to jimmy eat world and those nights in my car But this time i'm alone, and i don't see those stars I'm not your star? Isn't that what you said what you thought this song meant you thought this song meant And if this is what it takes just to lie in my mistakes and live with what I did to you And all the things i put you through I always catch the clock it's 11:11 And now you want to talk it's not hard to dream You'll always be my Konstantine They'll never hurt you like I do No, They'll never hurt you like I do No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No This is to a girl who got into my head with all these pretty things she did Hey Baby, You know that you keep me up in bed It's to a girl who got into my head with all the fucked up things I did Hey Maybe Baby, You could keep me up in bed My Konstantine Spin Around me like a Dream We played out on this movie screen And i said, did you know I missed you Did you know I missed you Did you know I missed you Did you know I missed you Did You know i miss you Did you know i miss you Did you know i miss you God, I miss you And then you bring me home And we'll go to sleep but this time not alone, no no, And you'll kiss me in your living room, oh And you see, no, that i've been missing in my Living room Cause this is what i miss, what i miss We don't have much room I said, does anyboy need that room? Because we all need a little more room To live My Konstantine leave one here

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